By now you know a few key elements of how to get your ex back, but what do you send your ex immediately after a breakup?
Yes, I know that most sites will say the exact same thing... after a breakup, you shouldn't contact your ex for awhile, you should ignore your ex, etc., but if you have to send your ex something after a break up, what should it be?
The answer may surprise you.
Contrary to popular belief, you shouldn't be sending love notes to your ex. Real life isn't the same as Hollywood life. That means confessing to your ex that you still love them and that you'll be there for them whenever they want actually doesn't work. I know you're going to be tempted to say this stuff, but this kind of information will actually push your ex further and further away.
The fact of the matter is, you should be telling your ex the complete opposite things. And you should be sending messages to your ex telling him or her that you've completely moved on.
Here, I'll jump into a few examples right off the bat so you get how to do this:
"Hey Suzie, just wanted to reach out to you and let you know that I'm very happy about how our relationship ended. It was definitely for the best. Hope all is well."
Or something like..
"Hey Kevin, just wanted to say that I'm glad that things ended on a good note and that we are both moving on with our lives. Catch you around."
These messages are letting your ex know that you aren't really wanting them back anymore. And yes, this is what your ex wants to hear (for now). However, what your ex doesn't know is that you're pressing the reset button the relationship. Instead of them knowing that you want them, you're letting him or her know that you're actually moving on, and that they should have absolutely no expectation to hear from you again.
You're creating what we call a "sense of loss." See, when somebody buys something new and something they love, say a new laptop computer, and then they lose it, they probably will feel an immediate sense of loss. That means that they're going to fight tooth and nail to retrieve their lost laptop computer.
Imagine this happening to you right now. Imagine that you just purchased something new that you really love, and then you lost it or someone stole it from you. You'd feel pretty crumby, right? This is the type of feeling that you're inducing in your ex when you tell them "I don't want you anymore either." You're trying to slowly induce the "feeling of loss" in them.
Secondly, when you do message your ex, it definitely doesn't hurt to make your ex a little bit jealous. So adding something like, "I have also met somebody new" will work.
Letting your ex know that you're happy and that you've moved on is key here.
Do you want to learn a bunch of new tactics that will help you press the "reset" button your relationship? In this video, relationship expert Brad Browning unveils a few different tactics that will get your ex to forgive you for everything you felt like you've done wrong.
Talk to you soon!