So right now, almost 30 days have past since you've contacted your ex. Great job! Not many people get to this point because they usually break down and contact their ex.

So you need to make sure that 30 days (at least) have past before you contact your ex. I've already covered why in previous articles.

A man texting his ex girlfriend backBut now you're ready for the big first message. This step is critical and need to be executed properly. If your ex even gets a whiff that you're not being genuine or that you're trying to seduce him or her, your ex will go running for the hills. Make sure you read this article carefully and do exactly as it says or else you might not ever see your ex ever again!

The first message (I prefer sending him or her a text) is to let them know that you're thinking about them, but you're not actually wanting to get back in touch with them. Also, you need to have a very good reason to message them. Just messaging them to say hi will tell them that you miss him or her. This obviously doesn't fly and it won't work to get your ex back into your life in any capacity.

Let's first jump right into an example and I'll dissect why this is an effective first message:

"Hi Jessica -- just wanted to ask what the name of that watch store was. Trying to find a good gift for a girlfriend. Hope all is well!"

So there you have it. Simple and effective. Why does this work?

First, you're texting them for a very good reason. You need to know the name of that watch store. This is a great excuse to text your ex. Second, it doesn't sound needy or desperate... in fact, it sounds quite the opposite. Lastly, you end the message with something cordial, but you're not forcing your ex to write you back.

Let's jump into another example:

"Hey Andrew -- just watched the Celtics game last night! It was so much fun. Hope all is well."

This example is assuming your ex boyfriend is a Celtics fan. By saying you did something that your boyfriend (or girlfriend) loves doing, you're sending them a subtle message that you're sort of thinking about them but not in a desperate or creepy way. Secondly, this message doesn't really have a call to action -- you're not asking for their advice and you're not really expecting a reply back.

So with using these two examples as a template, you can effectively open the flood gates of communication with your ex.

So what if they message you back you say?

Well, one of three things can happen. First, they can not reply to you at all. If this happens, do not get discouraged. There's always a multitude of reasons why people don't get back to you. If your ex doesn't bother replying to your first message, then wait a few more days (I would say around a week) and message them something similar. The second situation is that they reply, but they only say something very short and boring. And lastly, they fully reply to your text message.

With the second and third scenarios, you need to follow the same rules. These are the rules:

1.) Don't reply back right away - if you reply right away, you're showing that you're desperate. Remember, we want to remain cool, calm, and collected in this situation.

2.) Reply with something very short - don't write a novel telling him or her about the Celtics game, just reply with something short and sweet. I'll get into an example shortly.

3.) Make sure you're the one that ends the interaction - say you have a short converation with your ex for half a day, back and forth, via text message. Make sure you're the one that ends the conversation. Say something like, "Sorry, I have to go here... have a dance class to go to. Maybe talk to you soon." By ending the interaction first, you're subtly telling your ex that you don't really miss them that much.

And that concludes this article -- keep reading my subsequent articles to find out what to do after your first message.

And as always, remember to check out Brad's video below where he unveils 7 things you can do to make your ex fall madly in love with you again.

Men, if you want your ex girlfriend back, click here!

Women, if you want your ex boyfriend back, click here!